Say goodbye to another perfectly good decade

We of the Roman Calendar are about to say "goodbye" to the 2000s. I remember 2000 very distinctly. Remember the hysteria? What a thankful let-down that was. In 2000 I welcomed Ethan into my life. In 2000 I was horrified to welcome George W. Bush into my life. In 2002 we moved into our house in Norfolk, where we still reside. In 2001 was 9/11 and the world changed. In 2004 we welcomed Asherah. By this time my parents divorced, irrevocably altering my view of family, and what people are and are not capable of; and how they can change. It was a decade of highs and lows containing the most heart-wrenching lows, and glorious highs.

I am glad it's over.

During this time I lost myself. I suffered a traumatic birthing experience with Ethan, resulting PTSD that manifested as Post-partum depression, and had a year of living hell. I promised myself during that time to speak of this when it was warranted, to de-mystify this illness and help others recognize it and feel less shame if they have or have had it. So there.

During this time I gained a lot of weight, which I now realize was largely a way to insulate myself. To lose myself. Melting away those pounds this past year has been quite a journey. I've had to face myself once again stripped of those layers of security; readjust to being viewed as a "normal" person (weight-wise, in society's eyes) and generally face a lot of internal crap that wasn't too pleasant to face. But here I am.

I've realized more clearly who I am. What I want. What I believe in, and what I'll fight for. I've realized that there are some people who just don't "get" me. That the neat, cozy little community I've created for myself--which is so "normal" for me--is pretty outside the mainstream in many respects. I think this scares people. I've realized that rejection can still hurt; that even when you wear your difference like armour, proudly, there are still some seams in it; and you can still get wounded.

I've also realized that ultimately, this doesn't matter. If you are living your life as you believe it should be lived, and being a good person who is trying to make the world a better place, that's better than most of humanity is doing.

I look forward to the next decade. Do you? I think this will be the decade that I "become" the professional writer I want to be. I will see my son off to college before the decade is up. I will certainly be saying "goodbye" to some loved ones who will have lived long lives. Ari will still be steadfastly by my side; my best friend, my partner in scifi and general geekdom. He will no doubt be continuing to drive me batty every winter, and continue to never surprise me with any gifts :-) Asherah will be a teenager, and if she were truly to "rebel" I suppose that could mean she will be a conservative preppy studying to be a nun. Although Ari is convinced she'll get a tattoo and ride a motorcycle.

Time will tell.

Happy end of decade to you and yours!