You say "Groundhog Day," I say "Imbolc"

In the U.S., today is popularly known as Groundhog Day.* I've always enjoyed this day--not just because it's the day before my birthday (can you believe I'm gonna be 39 AGAIN??) but also because this is the time of year in the Northern Hemisphere where you really notice the growing light.

Our Celtic ancestors throughout Europe recognized this day as the half-way point between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox. The name "Imbolc" comes from the Gaelic "Oimelc," meaning "ewe's milk." This is because ewes were nursing their recently-born babies, and was considered a first sign of spring. When Christianity took hold in Ireland, Imbolc was transformed into Saint Brigid's Feast Day. Some Christians celebrate February 2nd as "Candlemas," the Feast of Purification of the Virgin Mary.

Romans celebrated Lupercalia at this time of year. Egyptians celebrated the Feast of Nut.

As someone who follows the Earth-based Wheel of the Year, I take many lessons from this celebration. Purification is one theme--some begin spring cleaning on this day. I see this day as a celebration of the Mother-Daughter bond, a la a feminist version of The Myth of Persephone. This is also a good day--if you are an artist--to celebrate your craft.

I will be celebrating by lighting a candle and meditating on my writing. I hope to gain insights on how to handle the fact that I don't actually have all that much time to write, because of the way my life is right now. I will also meditate on how to be both a better daughter and a better mother.

Happy early spring!




* It's also my friend Kathy's birthday :-)

Finding 'god' on an Airplane (Part deux)

The story continues

Her story was heartbreaking in many respects. As I really listened, focusing closely on the rest of her face, I noticed the signs of someone who has felt disappointment; someone who has lived unhealthily.

To make the telling of this story easier, I will refer to the woman on the plane as "Jane." *

Born Catholic, Jane never really felt connected to her religion. It simply did not impact her in any substantive way. Her parents were both alcoholics. Jane's mother was also a victim of incest, an experience that was horrifying and deeply scarring and which led to her subsequent alcoholism. However, Jane's mother tried to be a good mother once she had her own children, and Jane recalled some positive and loving moments during her childhood.

Jane did not say all that much, in retrospect, about her own adolescence. But by the time she was a young adult she was drinking alcohol and had became a drug user also. As I recall she hinted that she sold her body also during those dark times. At some point, her own mother "found god" and "straightened her life out," something that for years had no appreciable effect on Jane at all. She was deeply distracted by her own self-centered, destructive life, and thought her mother was "weird."

One day, as Jane relates it, she woke up deeply distraught, depressed, and ready to end her own life. She felt as though there was nothing left to live for, and did not believe that there was anything that she could do to improve her life. "In that moment," she told me, "I decided to call out to God** as a last resort--not really believing He even existed. So I got down on my knees and prayed, 'God, I don't know if you're real or not or if you can even hear me, but if you're there please, please help me.' And seconds later I felt filled with what I can only describe as love; and I felt hope and I realized that God was real and that He did answer my prayers and that He loved me. With His help, I knew I could change my life." She said from that moment on she never touched another drop of alcohol or drugs; that she "cleaned herself up." She began going to a "Bible Church" and learned all about how Jesus loved her and all people, especially sinners. About how He gave his life for all of us. About how we are nothing without Him.

I must tell you that Jane's face was infused with joy and perhaps gratitude as she told me all this. I have absolutely no doubt that she believes she found (her) Truth.

Eventually I asked her a few questions. I offered that I was "not Christian" but did elaborate further; nor did she ask. I asked her what she believes happens to people like me who do not believe as she does. "Jesus loves those of you especially." she replied. She then quoted a Bible passage (which unfortunately I don't remember) but was something to the effect of 'it's never too late--as long as a person accepts Jesus on their deathbed.' She mentioned the End Times. I asked her what would happen to people who did not "believe," or those who are of other religions and may not ever have been exposed to Christianity. She explained that according to the Book of Revelation, truly only those people who are "believers" will live forever in the glory of Christ. All others will spend eternity in misery with Satan, undergoing unspeakable tortures.

At roughly this point in our conversation, I could tell she was worried about me--about my soul. I could practically hear her thinking, she seems like a nice woman with a husband and children... and that she truly did not want me to go to Hell and suffer unbelievable torture for eternity. But she did not say this aloud.

Within her retelling of Revelation, she mentioned that (and I am paraphrasing here, because I can't remember exactly how she said it) that several signs of the Apocalypse were upon us, and that "...in eighteen months when Obamacare forces us to get implants under our skin, True Believers will reject it, otherwise we will not be allowed into God's Heavenly Kingdom."

SAY WHAT??

I honestly don't know how I held it together at this point, but I did. I asked for clarification: Yes--I heard her correctly.

And that's where my tolerance hit the wall.

Up until this point, it was an interesting conversation. If someone believes that God--or god, or an ancestor, or Goddess, or a tree, or James Dean's ghost--saved them from whatever earthly hell they'd been residing in, it is not my place to assume they are right or wrong. I wholeheartedly believe that as a species we are programmed to make sense of the world--or not make sense of it--in a whole slew of creative and differing ways. I don't care what the heck anyone else believes is "God;" nor do I care if someone is an atheist or agnostic. As long as you are not raining on my parade, go and believe anything you wish.

But, this person actually believed that our President and his "obamacare" was 1) a sign of the apocalyspe and 2) that Americans were going to be forced to get an implant under their skin--and that this implant equated to Satan's sign. And therefore, any true Christian would be unable to get this "implant."

(As an aside, the closest reference I could find to anything that may resemble her argument in Revelation is this: If anyone worships the beast and his image and receives his mark on the forehead or on the hand, he, too, will drink of the wine of God's fury, which has been poured full strength into the cup of his wrath. (Revelation 14:9,10.) Being the Researcher I am, I found that the Internet is indeed full of doomsayers making this same arument in various ways. See for example here and here. Is Verichip a sign of the End Times? No more so than Elvis was in the 50's. Or the Teletubbies were.)

And My Point Is?...

I could go on, about how stories warning of the ill effects of verichips make great science fiction. Which they do. Humans + Forced electronic implants + Mind control = Dystopian gold. But this same story is being told in churches. As though it is Truth, and not thinly veiled racism, fear of terrorism, and good old-fashioned fear mongering. In churches--in places where people should be teaching about love and tolerance.

But I said these posts would be more about what I learned from this experience, and how it gets to the heart of why I write. So here you go...

1) I believe people "find" certain religions to "save them" because they have been badly damaged. Due to poor self-esteem, they think they need "saving;" and because they are damaged they don't believe they have the inner strength to better themselves in other (non-religious) ways.

2) To the point above--clearly, humans are easily damaged. The preponderance of religions that force shame, seclusion, fear, abstinence, etc. is, I think, a product of damaged humans' longings for "betterment."

3) These religions and the social systems that support them then become the "damagers," warping peoples' views of things such as nature, male-female relationships, etc.

I don't think all religion is bad--I consider myself a religious person and also do not count myself among the atheists. But bad religion is bad. If a religion:

* tells you you are innately sinful/unclean/unworthy,
* teaches that humans have dominion over all of creation,
* demands that giving up your very life is the ultimate gift to your deity,
* demands that you must wear uncomfortable or punishing clothing,
* demands that you must suspend reason, do not have the freedom to make sense of the world as you wish, or treat the "other" as lesser than yourself,

...then question whether this Deity/religion truly has your best interests at heart.

I don't pretend to know into the hearts and minds of all people. I don't know the intricacies of what people have experienced in their lives, or what they need to go on from day to day. But I fear for all of us when so many of us are making decisions on how to live, what to believe, and how to treat others based on a faulty perception of what "god" wants of us.

So I write in hopes that I can offer alternative viewpoints to people who have not been exposed to them. I strive to create understanding of human diversity. I do this in a science fiction context, because it is often much easier to tell a contemporary story by dressing it in fantastical clothing.

Jane and I parted on good terms. I believe that she hoped that she had found a convert in me--that she had given me a glimpse of the one "True God" and that I would find my way to him and thus save my immortal soul.

But what I could not tell Jane was that I could never serve a god who demands that we believe Obamacare=the devil. Or that teaches the world was created in six days. Or that tells his followers that they are the chosen ones, and that all others are doomed for their disbelief.

I won't serve a god who tells me to fly airplanes into buildings. I won't listen to a god who says being gay is abhorrent, or that my very body is sinful and must be covered at all times.

I implore the religious among you to be tolerant. I do not presume to tell you not to believe--that is your right. But I ask that you consider the fact that spirituality and religion can coexist with tolerance, love, and reason.

* I never did get Jane's real name.
** I use God with a capital here in deference to Jane's experience.

Update: I am alive

I just spent a blissful two weeks without substantive work. I also did not write a blasted thing. I did not tweet for two weeks; and only checked email and posted to Facebook sporadically.

I just needed to relax, as much as is possible over the holidays.

Now as I re-emerge, I have Arisia right around the corner--yikes! I still have a ton of reading I want to do for that. (My tentative schedule is at: http://2011.arisia.org/Bios2011).

Also, several work deadlines are staring me down the barrel of a rifle. And I really need need to chug out some more novel content.

Oh, and I have "Part Deux" of "Finding God..." in Draft here in this blog. It's been sitting there for over two weeks. I'll post it soon. Really.

In other news, the Hunger Games series absolutely rocks. Kudos to Suzanne Collins. Read it if you haven't done so yet.

Also waiting for The Wise Man's Fear from Pat Rothfuss. And I'm beginning to tap my foot.

Happy New Year All...

Love, Me

Finding 'god' on an Airplane (Part 1)

A Word About Semantics
If I were hungering for a deeper meaning to my life or dissatisfied with my religion, this might have been a post about how I found God on an airplane.

But I don't and it's not.

This will be a lengthy post.

First a word about semantics--I use capitalizations consciously. You will see that within this post I used the term 'god' and it is not capitalized. I do this because in my reality, the god I encountered on the plane was not "THE" God, if such a thing even exists. Granted, the god I encountered on the plane had powers. One of these is the ability to save people from the most destructive aspects of themselves. He provides hope. But he is so very wrong about so many things--or perhaps it is his followers, speaking in his name, who are the misguided ones.

God, Goddess, Spirit...and Airplanes
I was travelling back home to Massachusetts from a business trip in Orlando. Trudging down the narrow airplane aisle with my bulky carryon, I scanned the rows, counting up to my seat. I reached the assigned place, next to two women who may have been at least partly latina. The younger of the two had the window. I smiled and settled myself. Within minutes, we all engaged in some small talk--I am always talking to strangers when I'm out and about. The middle-aged woman next to me "warned" me that if we hit turbulence, she might grab my hand for comfort. "So don't be offended if I do." She joked. "Don't be offended if I grab yours right back," I said and we all laughed.

Whenever I fly I say my own version of a prayer. It is perhaps more of a projection of my will to deliver me safely to my intended location and ultimately, back home intact to my family. I extend that prayer and intent to everyone on the plane, surrounding the plane itself in a protective bubble. When I do this I also invoke and ask the protection of the Divine Feminine. She is my Deity--my God is Goddess.

Heathen and Pagans and Witches--Oh My! (Or, Stepping off the Plane for a Moment...)
I am not alone in conceiving of The Divine--God, if you will--as "Goddess." Scholars of Religion, Anthropology, History, Archaeology and related disciplines generally recognize that one of humanity's earliest attempts (some form of animism probably came first) to personify "god" was to view It as female.[1] Logically, this makes sense. Female animals give birth. They "bring forth life." Before the connection between sex and procreation was made, giving birth would have seemed magical. Thus, projections of "magic"/Deity would have been female.

I am skipping a lot of history here, but fast forward to historical times. While in prehistory animism and often female-dominated polytheism was the norm, the historic era marked many changes in human society.[2] One of these was the advent of monotheism and concept of a male god. There is certainly not just one factor that was responsible for this change. Rather, it was a myriad of factors including changes in how people lived (nomadic to agricultural), population density, and changes in the global environment. As differing cultural groups came into contact with one another for the first time, it would have stirred up "in-group" vs. "out-group" tendencies inherent in our species. The 'other' and their ways and beliefs would have been considered inferior. There would have been clashes over territory, resources, and ideals.

In any conflict, there are winners and losers. As we all know, throughout the globe monotheism won out.

The losers--those who still worshipped a Goddess or many Deities--lived on secretively. Over centuries, others carried on many of these traditions without really knowing it. Saints in Catholicism and Mother Mary veneration are two examples. Over the last century or so, people have begun to reclaim the lost Feminine Divine. Neo-Paganism is an umbrella term that encompases most of the modern Goddess-centered/polytheistic religions. Wicca--now an officially recognized religion by the U.S. Army--is one of these. It has its roots in 19th century Europe but is only about 60 years old.

Back to the Plane
Protection invoked, I settled in for the ride. I began to read my Kindle, but it was election night, I was flying JetBlue, and I couldn't resist the lure of the cable news networks.

When the snack service began, my neighbor in the seat next to me was peering at the election stats being shown at the bottom of the CNN broadcast. She had several minutes before switched from Fox News to CNN. I was watching CNN also.

"I'm sorry to bother you," she nudged me. I plucked my earbuds out. "I'm sorry..." she apologized again, "but I was wondering if you could tell me what this means?" She indicated one of the stats at the bottom of her CNN display. It was a countdown of how many Democratic seats were being lost to Republicans. I explained it to her. She thanked me.

Several minutes later, my two seatmates realized they'd missed the beverage service that came before the snack. Indeed, they had been napping when the drinks had come by. Now awake, they were talking to each other and pointing up to where the seat lights and air vents were. My seat mate once again nudged me. "I'm sorry to ask, but if I press that red button will someone come so that we can get a drink?" I assured her that's what it was for. The younger woman hesitated. "Are you sure?" she asked. The woman next to me quickly answered that she was sure I was correct, and that I wouldn't say so if I wasn't sure. She smiled at me apologetically. I smiled back, hoping to relay that I was not offended.

The Flight Attendant came, the women ordered drinks. We resumed casual chatting. The woman next to me had recently moved to the suburbs, which she was really enjoying. She'd lived in the city all of her life. She mentioned something about a church she had found in her new community. "Finding a faith community is a really good way to integrate into a new area." I commented. The woman smiled brightly and began telling me about her church. Jesus was mentioned. She then volunteered that she had "found Jesus" several years ago. "It changed my life," she said. "He" changed my life. Before Him I had nothing--my life was a mess and I was into drugs and alcohol. I didn't care about life that much, and I didn't care about religion. But one night I was so lost, so broken, that I called out to Him: 'If you are real, and I don't know if you are, please help me. I don't know what else to do...' And He came to me. He answered my prayers. And my life changed, in that instant."

As I recall, at that point she apologized, "I'm sorry, I don't want to bore you."

People fascinate me. They infuriate me. They are endlessly surprising, disappointing, and wonderfully knowable and unknowable, all at once. I also saw this as an opportunity to try and truly understand how believers of this type have come to believe as they do.

I preach tolerance. I must practice it also.

So I looked into her eyes, smiled, and told her, "I'd love to hear your story, if you want to tell it. I'm truly interested."

So she began. And what she said (coming in part 2) and what I've learned (also in part 2) comforts me and scares me, in equal measure. It strikes at the very heart of what--and why--I write.

I will try to get part 2 up soon.


[1] For example, see the work of Maria Gimbutas and . Ronald Hutton's work includes Goddess culture into historic times, and tying it to Wicca and other neo-pagan traditions. Also interesting and something I enjoyed immensely is Leonard Shlain's The Alphabet versus the Goddess.

[2] For example, see Pandora's Seed.

I am the featured poet on Strong Verse

Hiya...I am happy to relay that a poem I sold to Orson Scott Card's online poetry Journal Strong Verse is up on their website. This is one of my shorter poems, tittled, "This is Why I Hurt You." I'd be interested to hear what you think of it. (http://www.strongverse.org/) They change the featured author after several days, so just search for my name under "living poets" to find it.

Coming soon....blog entries on Intimate Partner Violence, Growing U.S. Ignorance. I've been super-busy with work.